The lies we tell our false selves

Philo: Do you genuinely think that people never listen to you?

Cleanthes: Yes

Philo: Ok this is absurd you have conversations everyday though, if people never listened to you then how would you ever have a conversation?

Cleanthes: Ok then but its only sometimes

Philo: What do you mean sometimes?

Cleanthes: Its not just a matter of degree of course its only sometimes, what is with being so pedantic?

Philo: Well surely if you are going to defend this line of reasoning then you can define it clearly can you not?

Cleanthes: When I am in large groups or out and about to be fair. When I am with a few friends or with family then they listen sure.

Philo: But other times they don't listen when you are away from the house or in large groups?

Cleanthes: Not always but sometimes yes.

Philo: So can you actually think of an instance lately where everyone turned their attention elsewhere while you were actually talking, such as talking over you or turning their back to you, or starting a conversation with someone else?

Cleanthes: No I can't

Philo: Are you uncomfortable around large groups of people?

Cleanthes: I get a bit nervous sometimes yes

Philo: So would it be better to say that you don't make much of an effort to talk to people when you are in big groups?

Cleanthes: I never thought of it like that


Philo: Do you not see Cleanthes? These are the kinds of lies we tell ourselves, we never question them but we just accept them as facts, they don't have a grain of truth to them. This is what the false self is - a collection of these dishonest thoughts.

Really, how this mechanism is working is it is protecting you from your own failures. By blaming other people for your failures as a human being you are reinforcing a self image. This image you have of your 'self' has to be perfect and free of shortcomings. This of course is impossible.

Everybody and everything has shortcomings of some description and this idea of a perfect 'self' we are trying to project on to everybody so they judge us in a particular way is simply a matter of avoidance of facing up to the truth. My question is this. Do you want to challenge this system of dysfunctional thinking?